An amusing article in the Huffington Post has explored the 7 emotional stages to be endured when you discover your printer has run out of ink.
The article, penned by Shihab S Joi, compares a crucial document that can’t be printed due to lack of ink to “a gift that can’t be unwrapped, a gripping novel with the ending torn out, the perfect heist foiled by a getaway car out of petrol” and explains that there are 7 emotional stages to pass through “before you can heal, move on and perhaps learn how to stop it from ever happening again.”
Stage one. “This is not happening”
Upon the initial discovery of an inkless printer, Joi writes, your defence mechanism will cushion you by rendering you numb with shock. “At this stage,” he says, “you will calmly take out the cartridge and reinsert it, turn the printer off and on again, tip out every drawer in the house while laughing a little maniacally.”
Stage two. “This is ALL MY FAULT”
The second emotional stage is one of recrimination and remorse, as the “true extent of the horror hits”, and you begin blaming yourself for failing to stockpile cartridges or change the printer settings to grayscale.
Stage three. “Why me, world? Why?”
At this point, Joi explains, anger sets in and you will “rage against the printing machine”, while imagining all the other people you know with their ink-filled printers, “smugly printing sheets and sheets for no reason other than because they can.”
Stage four. “Hello darkness my old friend”
At this stage, you will retreat into a state of “quiet reflection”, withdrawing into yourself, playing Nick Cave songs, rationalising that it’s probably for the best that you couldn’t print those birthday invitations, and asking yourself, “What’s the point in marking a life when everything must perish?”
Stage five. “I’m fine! Everything’s FINE!”
In emotional stage five, the realisation sinks in that you have managed to cope with the situation, and that it wasn’t actually the worst thing that could have happened. However, despite this comforting line of thought, the stress of lack of ink will still remain and be “burning you up inside”.
Stage six. “Time to face the facts”
As you head toward the conclusion of your emotional journey, you reach a state of acceptance, whereby you realise there is no point in beating yourself up for letting the printer run dry, and you realise that what you now need is “a realistic solution.”
Stage seven. “Problem solved”
The solution propounded by the article is to opt for HP’s instant Ink service, which “arranges a transfer to arrive at your door” before your printer runs out of ink. Offering a free printing plan, HP’s ink delivery service is described as “friendly, helpful and convenient”, and means that printer users will no longer have to worry about those 7 emotional stages which arise from discovering that your printer has run dry.
